no you cant smoke seaweed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
