oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
