That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
