I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
