You're completely useless in the revolution.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
