yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
