She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
