I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
