her vagina looked like bernie madoff
meet me or not, i'm out of control
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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