yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
