its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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