On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
