they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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