There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
