i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
