The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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