.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
