You can't motorboat a personality
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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