I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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