and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
