I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't notice because vodka
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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