champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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