You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
