the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
