Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
