were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
