too bad you live with your parents still
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
