Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
