Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
