I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
