would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
