I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
