As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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