I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
