You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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