Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
