You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
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