I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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