I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
