We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
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