sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
