She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
