Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
