No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
