I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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