I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
