Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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