it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
