she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
