that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i think my cat just said my name.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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